On One Hand

December 22, 2003


Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 3:15 am

Recnt polls are showing that public opinion is swinging away from gay rights in favor of a permanent ban on same-sex marriage. Let me just articulate my feelings on the whole same-sex marriage thing now and hopefully I won’t have to talk about it here ever again.

I have to admit, marriage would be nice. It might be convenient, pleasant, and very warm-fuzzy-like if my future marriage to another man could be recognized by the government. But if it doesn’t happen, I’m not going to get my cock tied in a knot over it.

You see, I don’t need the approval of congress, Mr. Bush, or anyone else in the world to fall in love. Signed legal papers do not a marriage make. All a marriage requires is that me and the person I am in love with agree to spend the rest of our lives together. I don’t give a shit if you or anybody else refuses to shake my and my lover’s hands – it doesn’t mean we aren’t married. If you have a problem with same-sex marriage, don’t fucking get same-sex married, dumb ass, but the fact that you have a problem with it has no effect over the reality that a marriage, same-sex marriage included, is not a public affair and no law or preacher can do shit to keep one from being formed. Me and my boy are gonna do the whole damn thing on our wedding day – we’ll each say “I do” and get pronounced by our Unitarian preacher, we’ll tie the cans to the back of our car as we drive home from the church, and we’ll co-habitate happily every after no matter what kind of bullshit the republican neighbors have to say about it. The only difference between us and any heterosexual married couple is that they get to have their names registered on some stupid government computer.

That’s right, I’m fucking getting married. I haven’t met him yet, but he’s a guy, just like me, he has a big fat cock, just like I do, and we’ll make out in the fucking park in front of the fucking public ducks just like all the fucking hetero couples always do. Fuck you if you don’t think we’re a cute couple, ‘cuz damn it baby, we’re fabulous! It ain’t gonna change jack shit if 71% of the population thinks what were doing is immoral. It ain’t gonna change jack shit if you think that book on your dresser (you know, the one about Jesus that you always talk about but never read) says its a bad thing that we love each other even though we’re both men. Me and my boy are gonna fuck like rabbits whenever we feel like it, and if James Dobson doesn’t like that, he can fucking suck the cum out of my big gay stretched-out asshole. As far as I can recall, I never asked the Moral Majority how it feels about me and my boyfriend’s relationship. Everyone is free to approve of or disapprove of, legislate or decline to legislate, condemn or affirm the love between me and my future husband. Aside from a few hundred lousy bucks in income tax, I can’t really see how it makes a difference to me what the rest of society decides.

Can you get the gist of what I’m saying? Basically, I don’t care what the law says, because for me, marriage is not a legal thing. Those fighting for same-sex marriage often base their whole argument on the fact that marriage is legal and not religious, but really, it isn’t legal at all. Marriage is a personal, romantic, spiritual commitment between two people – and ONLY those people – so politicians are not invited. Like I said, it would be nice if same-sex marriage was publicly recognized and I could feel all warm and tingly when society gives me and my lover a friendly pat on the back, but really, I’m not gonna lose a single moment of sleep if it doesn’t happen.


  1. What do you think about the idea that marriage is an institution that stabilizes society? It seems to me that if churches and government included gay marriages, it would promote longer lasting relationships and be good for everyone.

    And btw, since you brought up the book on the dresser, I think of 1 Samuel 18. Maybe James Dobson didn’t read the whole thing?

    Comment by churchguy — December 22, 2003 @ 11:26 am | Reply

    • 1 Samuel 18

      Read it. It applies much more to the religious aspect of marriage than anything else, which I am not concerned with here. And in any case, yes I think that marriage can help make society more stable. Like I said: warm and fuzzy. But if society is going to try to withhold it from me, they aren’t going to get very far, because a marriage is ultimately between one person and another – not two people and society.

      Comment by ononehand — December 22, 2003 @ 8:08 pm | Reply

  2. The marriage has three different aspects parts.
    1. Personal: What more can I say than what pizzuti wrote: ‘marriage is a personal, romantic, spiritual commitment between two peopl…’
    That is on a personal level.

    2. Religious (spiritual): If you follow a belief or even believe in some deity than some form of ceremony which includes vows of your love and ‘spiritual commitment’ are needed

    3. Civil: This one is the piece of paper which says that you are married and therefore becomes the legal documentation that you can both own property and that you each have the right to make life altering decisions for one another if the other is incapacitated. Otherwise it would be his immediate family and not his husband.

    One can have all of these or none of them it pretty much boils down to each individual. Because after all it is only between two people and god if so chosen or the law if so chosen. The truth be told if you don’t have the personal then it is a union without out love and more of a union to benefit one or the other or both, this last one, in my opinion, is very rare.
    If you don’t have the civil in your eyes and maybe in the eyes of god, (if you believe in one), you are married, however in the eyes of the law you are not and be prepared to come to the realization that you don’t count in the life of your partner when it comes to property, money, health, etc…
    I don’t think that legalizing same sex marriage will add to social stability. Depending on your personal values and sexual orientation you can have all or none of the three different aspects and that in it’s self is not going to make or break the commitment in the long run it is personal to yourself and your partner.

    Comment by devnair1 — December 22, 2003 @ 6:06 pm | Reply

  3. Wow…no one has ever said it that good before.
    If I was a guy I would fucking kidnap you and marry you right now…
    and then fuck around in the park in front of the ducks.

    Good job:0)

    Comment by isexyou — December 22, 2003 @ 6:56 pm | Reply

  4. Hey.

    Well… don’t change stride. Gay people have been together for who knows how long. There’s photos from the 1930’s of gay couples getting married in private ceremonies. I mean your point is valid, it’s established, everyone knows it… it’s just not as publicized now. It’s an issue of rebelion, that you’ll do as you please within your rights of being human and American. The issues now are the rights you get when married in this society. We live in buildings, have sciences that chart the human mind, and we have courts. In this society there are laws everywhere, and rights to be found. I am part of this society whether I like it or not, whether this is part of my ‘spiritual’ or ‘personal/individual’ path, and I want those rights that America is so known for.

    I will say to you, that I hope you have a wonderful and fulfilling marriage and that you have ALL the rights under this law and society as an equal person.

    Hey, I’m Daniel and I’m from San Diego. Nice to meet you.
    I’ve been reading your livejournal for a while. Since livejournal recently became free, I signed up real quick and started posting like a fiend. Heh, well… ciao.

    Comment by dewrust — December 22, 2003 @ 11:23 pm | Reply

  5. “he has a big fat cock, just like I do”

    wow…I SO should’ve seen that before I left CO

    Comment by lazarus_pryor — December 22, 2003 @ 11:58 pm | Reply

  6. Sometimes I wish the covernment would actually think about what they are doing sometimes. Just imagine the extra money they’d make from marriage licenses for gay people?

    I think another huge impact is the whole health care issue. Some large companies are giving same sex partners health benefits, which is awesome! Again, imagine the money the goverment could save if another few million people were insured and didn’t have to go through charity for health care…

    Hopefully, when those of us who have a brain are older and in charge of businesses and the goverment things will change.


    Comment by jennafern — December 23, 2003 @ 12:05 am | Reply

  7. someone see something in the news that pissed him off? that’s a good stance to have, though. sometimes you just need to say “i’m going to do what the fuck i want, and fuck you for asking me to do otherwise.”

    Comment by hondafreak — December 23, 2003 @ 3:57 am | Reply

  8. it’s never been about what other people think… it’s about equality… why can’t we share the same rights as everyone else? i don’t care if we’re accepted… you can’t change people like that… we just want parity…
    now, if you don’t mind… i must go cough up my other lung… die, flu die… (omg, a bar tender is the three time jeopardy champ… i still have a chance)

    – me

    Comment by Anonymous — December 24, 2003 @ 12:03 am | Reply

  9. Fuck yeah. I agree 100%.

    Comment by Anonymous — December 24, 2003 @ 7:49 am | Reply

  10. Needless to say, the “approval” aspect of it all is something I’ve never really cared about. I’m going to love who I’m going to love but I must say, the tax benefits would be nice.

    But yeah, you said that extremely well.

    Comment by thenakedchin — December 29, 2003 @ 7:09 am | Reply

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