On One Hand

September 20, 2004


Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 12:00 pm

All these hurricanes! One forms after another, and now there are three major storms in the North Atlantic at once. I read an article on Netscape about some very creative ways to stop hurricanes, brainstormed by various science fiction enthusiasts while taking breaks from their Star Wars fan-fic pages. (The goddamn hurricanes keep knocking the server’s power out – there must be an imbalance in the Force!) Ideas included bombing hurricanes with nuclear weapons, covering the ocean with a slick of olive oil to keep water from evaporating to fuel the storm, and dumping tons and tons of water-absorbent powder (commonly used in diapers) into the churning clouds. The product of all this is to make radioactive, leak-protection absorbent hurricanes that you can make pesto out of. Personally, I think the Fab Five should be hired to dispel all cyclonic events. We can call it Queer Eye of the Hurricane and the roaring winds can be sedated with fabulousness. Instead of dumping a foot of water, hail and lightning onto terrified populations, the queer-eyed storm will rain naked men and mini cocktail umbrellas. (Yeah yeah, anyone could have seen that line coming. I know.) Instead of eight to fifteen extra feet of ocean water, the storm surge will be made of… um… never mind. There’s no storm surge.

I am officially behind in my reading homework. I am also behind in a group project that we are meeting to discuss in class tomorrow, and since I am responsible for more than just myself here, I really need to get cracking on that. Argh. And now that I’ve picked up the journalism school application, please all remind me to fill it out and turn it in. I need to pick an article and explain how it reflects good journalism, so I’m kind of skimming whatever to find a good article. The journalism school is expected to accept about one quarter of applicants this term. The application is due October 5th, the same day I get my braces off (finally) after three years with them on. (You can’t tell I have braces in my usericon but they’re there.)



  1. yeah!!! no more braces 😀
    that’s such good news. you must be soooo ready to get them off!

    Comment by missargyle — September 20, 2004 @ 11:41 am | Reply

  2. Remember to brush your teeth!

    Comment by ms_misdirected — September 20, 2004 @ 2:15 pm | Reply

  3. I say! Brava!

    Funny shit man.

    Almost as funny as a monkey that looks like Yoko Ono with a soother.

    Comment by yoella — September 20, 2004 @ 6:48 pm | Reply

    • Re: I say! Brava!

      Thanks for that. I really appreciate the mokey .jpg

      Comment by ononehand — September 20, 2004 @ 8:29 pm | Reply

  4. I don’t know if the fab five would be able to defeat the hurricane like that. I mean…Jai might actually have to do something, and I just don’t know if that’s possible.

    I do feel sorry for some of the people in the bible belt tho. With the pounding they’re getting, most of them probably think that the apocalypse is just around the corner.

    Oh wait, they always think that the apocalypse is just around the corner. 🙂

    Comment by emotive_wisdom — September 20, 2004 @ 7:16 pm | Reply

  5. haha you’re an odd one… good thing I like odd ones :-p Yay for getting the braces off!

    Comment by johnnya — September 21, 2004 @ 1:32 am | Reply

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