On One Hand

September 29, 2004

Love

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 11:46 am

God I am falling in love with everybody lately. I’m feeling utterly romantic all the time. I’ll see a guy I don’t even know and I’ll think I love him already long before there has been mutual eye contact. Perhaps all this emotion can become a source of creativity if I tap into it right. It’s a funny thing; usually I’m worried thinking how will I ever find someone to fall in love with and now I’m thinking what if I fall in love with more than one!? How will I choose!? There must be some good energy going on in my world right now. Whatever it is, I’ll try to enjoy it while it lasts. This month is bound to lead to further extreme sleep deprivation, pages and pages of crazy poems, marriage, sex, blood, divorce, or suicide. I’m excited.

I had to read two poems out loud in my creative writing class today. It was difficult – whenever I’m reading something out loud I feel like my two front teeth are getting bigger and bigger, weighing down my speech. I once had a small gap between them and got used to talking with it there. Now that the gap has been closed by braces (coming off on Tuesday), I sometimes feel like I’m lisping, although everyone else claims they can’t hear it. More likely I just sound tongue-tied. I massacred the first poem, but the second turned out alright.

Oh yeah, so my braces are coming off on Tuesday. I remember how much it sucked when I got them – imagine being a junior in high school, sixteen years old, finding out that you’re going to have chunks of shiny metal in your mouth through senior year, senior pictures, prom, graduation, three summer breaks, your first year of college, and your entire experience in the dorms. Those were all the times I’d hoped to hook up. The two years in your life when you can have a lot sex and come across as cute and experimental rather than slutty (age 16-18), you are socially burdened by a silver square on each tooth. When I was sixteen I was about ready to come out of the closet, excited to meet a guy finally which would make the torment of standing against the world worthwhile. When I got the braces, I was saying to myself, Now I’ll NEVER have a boyfriend. At age sixteen, three years is practically your whole life.

As it turned out the braces weren’t such a hindrance, and I eventually forgot that they were there. Everyone else remembered, but I forgot. The top brackets are clear, so don’t show up in some pictures, so when I would meet someone for the first time I would realize I forgot to tell them I had braces when they would say “Oh.” I’m getting my braces off, finally, in the middle of the most romantic period I’ve ever felt in my life. I wonder what is to come of this?

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7 Comments »

  1. I got braces my senior year of high school. At first I was really self-conscious about them and felt they made me look less cute and too young. And they really made it hard to speak and make out, and they poked me, and I hated them. I would periodically forget about them, but would be reminded when I would get a sore on my mouth from being poked and stuff. I got them off in June and I am so happy to have it over with. Congratulations on getting your braces off. It’s gonna be awesome. =)

    Comment by empressme — September 29, 2004 @ 1:01 pm | Reply

  2. Ugh

    Braces sucked! I had them and believe me it’s the best thing in the world to get them off! Then you have retainers which you can take out! Or you may only have to wear them at night like me. Anyways, good luck with that!

    Comment by im_just_a_boy — September 29, 2004 @ 6:50 pm | Reply

  3. random, i knwo

    You are tooo cute! Im sorry, i just thought i would tell you that.

    Comment by veggiepicker — September 29, 2004 @ 9:23 pm | Reply

  4. call me weird… but i find braces attractive :-S

    Comment by johnnya — September 30, 2004 @ 12:39 am | Reply

    • Sorry only four days left.

      Comment by ononehand — September 30, 2004 @ 12:40 am | Reply

      • eh you’ll still be cute even after they’re gone :-p hehe

        Comment by johnnya — September 30, 2004 @ 1:21 am


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