On One Hand

December 20, 2004

Free Drawing Form

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 2:27 am

Conversation with self;
By means of back of customer evaluation Free Drawing Form and short pencil.
1:05 AM. December, 19, 2004.
Brunswick Zone Bowling Alley, Westminster, CO. Lane 14.

My consciousness just sank into the back of my head, retreated out of from my ears and mouth and found itself spinning through my eyes and in through the part of my mind that can speak only to itself.

It happened because I didn’t like something going on outside me and needed to make everything right inside instead.

My journal isn’t here with me so there’s nothing to connect this to – my words must stand alone on the back of the survey flier from the bowling alley. My score: first game, 45. Second game, 96 (more than doubled!). The ball is too heavy, and my thumb keeps getting stuck in the thumb hole, forming a huge blister on my hand. This is the worst I’ve ever played, though I hardly ever go bowling. I soooo don’t care about this game. Oh, they’re telling me it’s my turn again…

Gutter ball and spare. I’ve worked it my issue out, so maybe I can come back out of my skull again. I hate sinking into intra introversion in public; I’d rather remain my usual, talkative, sarcastic self so that people don’t think that there’s something wrong.

It’s nice when I go in there and people chase me. They usually don’t. I’m usually down there alone, which causes thoughtful introversion to become bitter masochism. It’s good to feel loved once in a while.

End Conversation.
1:22 AM. Sunday, December 19, 2004. Brunswick Zone Bowling Alley, Westminster, CO. Lane 14.
Free Drawing Form


1 Comment »

  1. quit living my life.

    last night i fell into a similar thought process.
    i was at a joanna newsom show in new york city. i borrowed my friends notebook and pen. and used the light from my cell phone to illuminate the page so i could write.
    most of my words were abstract and incomplete.
    i was sitting on a floor that everyone was standing on.
    the only difference was the bowling alley versus a concert venue, and i am not usually a talkative, sarcastic person. i am not sure what i am to be honest.

    Comment by octoberxswimmer — December 21, 2004 @ 2:51 am | Reply

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