On One Hand

January 16, 2005

Arm in Arm

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 1:22 pm

Despite the fact that everyone is afraid of dying alone, almost all people not killed in violent explosions indeed die by themselves. I, like many, would love to live my last moments with my spouse lying beside me, but I know it’s unlikely to come true. He will either die years before me, leaving me alone, or I’ll be sick with cancer and he’ll come up to bring me orange juice one day to find me urine-soaked and cold. Dying together, in bed, arm in arm, would be a feat. I can’t imagine how it would be timed correctly unless it’s suicide; imagine the coincidence of your lover discovering he or she has a brain tumor just as you come down with lung cancer, and you both give up chemo at the same time and deteriorate at the same pace. It seems more than unlikely that you would both slip off at the same moment, and if it happened right you would certainliy both be subject of a PAX TV special on miracles post-mortem. But even if you both commit suicide together, by, say, poisioning, death at the exact moment would be nearly impossible – one will always go slightly before the other, leaving one person alive for few awkward moments, desperately lonely for his or her last few seconds of consciousness hugging a still-warm corpse. I know how hard it is to get off at exactly the same time as someone else, which is something you can practice over and over again. Dying, which is something you do just once, at the same time as your partner must be quite an art.

Note to self: rewrite this.



  1. that was quite lovely

    Comment by twistedshroom — January 16, 2005 @ 8:41 pm | Reply

  2. that was stupid. you think too much.

    Comment by Anonymous — January 17, 2005 @ 6:55 am | Reply

    • Wow, you’re really cool. I really want to know who you are because you’re so cool and I really want to meet you. And you’re so wise. I want to talk to you be friends with you and receive your amazing wisdom every day.

      And, you won’t check back to read this so I don’t even care.

      Comment by ononehand — January 17, 2005 @ 9:05 am | Reply

  3. You need to do something dramatic together, that’ll get you both shot by the same round of bullets from some kind of automatic gun. Like sneak into Russia for some reconaissance back in the day, or become drug lords together and piss off the competition in NYC.

    Comment by radical_will — January 17, 2005 @ 9:43 am | Reply

    • Well I don’t really know how to get “back in the day,” and if I pissed off the drug competition in NYC I’m sure the “awkward moments” between the death of one and the death of the other would be not only lonely but also terrifying and violent, and possibly very long. But drama could work, if we both jumped off a bridge or something.

      Comment by ononehand — January 17, 2005 @ 10:57 am | Reply

      • Yeah, but the more terrifying and violent the death you both share, the stronger the bond of death will be… except that you’ll be dead so there won’t be much of a bond of anything… but y’know, it’ll be tragic and live on in the hearts of the angry druglords who witnessed the death. And jumping off a bridge together is SO overdone.

        Comment by radical_will — January 17, 2005 @ 11:00 am

      • Well I don’t really care if it’s cliche or not. The point of this goal is not that it have an impact on others but that it be a nice, peacful exit, to avoid having my last few moments alive be unpleasent.

        Comment by ononehand — January 17, 2005 @ 11:11 am

      • No way; nice and peaceful is way overated. You should want to die the same way you should want to live– in a way that’s meaningful and happy. Nobody wants to fly through a life that’s “nice and peaceful”, and nobody should want to die that way. If you didn’t want your death to be meaningful, you wouldn’t have been thinking about how great it’d be to die with your guy in the first place. And the more tragic, the more meaningful.

        Comment by radical_will — January 17, 2005 @ 11:21 am

      • Ha. We’ll see.

        Comment by ononehand — January 17, 2005 @ 8:46 pm

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