On One Hand

April 28, 2005

Protected: Fucking Surveys

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 6:21 pm

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April 27, 2005

Absolute Charge

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 12:03 am

I am told that this or that person is the exact opposite of me, but I try to explain that it simply isn’t possible. The opposite of me is a big block of cheese or some protein-based mass with a me-shaped hole in it. Nobody I know fits that description.

I’m also willing to accept the possibility that a copy of me made of antimatter is my opposite. Nobody I know fits that description either.

April 23, 2005

Protected: Stupid

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 10:18 pm

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Protected: Lithium

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April 20, 2005


Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 3:12 pm

It is the most beautiful emotion, and no poetry even from God’s own lips can compensate the ceasing of love. I once thought joy and sorrow exist in tandem, like the two motions of breath, and that each is the genesis of beauty. I now know there is no beauty in love’s severence; it is an ugly thing, and its points do not touch hearts but only dead white bone. The art in the prose that pours from heartbreak trembles before the ugliness of the wound that pours it; the loss of chance, of touch, of the slain potentiality of much more beautiful things – tracing tattoos with fingertips – singing in pair – driving to Seattle – trading deep pieces of light – pressing soft lips on old scars to heal – is shattered at the onset of abandonment. All scars once soothed by soft lips now bleed again.

I loved you, you asshole.

So much is given, then canceled at a loss. Lies cannot be forgiven the way other things can. So much is gouged out that can never be regrown. Life’s lessons are offered as insufficient compensation; the creation in agony does not nearly match what has been destroyed.

April 18, 2005


Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 11:11 pm

Tonight I saw my skin open like a womb. Beneath was ivory and pearl, glistening in light’s first touch. I watched it seal red and kissed my dream away.

The deeper cut is hidden the beneath the surface –
I’m in the worst pain of my life.

April 17, 2005

What I Learned My Sophomore Year in College

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 10:41 pm

Here’s 20 things I learned this year, mostly through bad choices

April 16, 2005

Protected: The Skeleton Riders

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April 15, 2005

Circular Reasoning

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 9:19 pm

I am told by Internet health sites that in the rare cases when mono leads to a jaundiced state, which it did (slightly) in my case (but only my eyes were yellow), you are not supposed to drink alcohol for an entire year. (I really need to stop reading WebMD. It’s the source of all of my problems.)

A YEAR? Screw THAT. I’ll assume that “year” means to wait until the end of the school year, which occurs in three weeks. (Thank God I happened to get mono so late in the season!)

Which leads me to the question: why do we say that drinking alcohol is bad? The argument is that alcohol is bad for our health. The logical connundrum proceeds as follows:
So why don’t we drink? To keep in good health.
Why keep in good health? To prolong our lives.
Why prolong life? Because, as we see it, life leads to hapiness, which is ideal.
But what makes life happy? Alcohol.
It’s circular reasoning at its worst.

All my friends are drinking.

Not being able to drink sucks. You know what I’m grateful for? Pot. WebMD hadn’t taken that from me yet.

Or a second logical chain, which begins similar to the first but diverges later:
Why not drink? For good health.
Why do we want good health? To prolong life.
Why prolong life? Because life is enjoyable.
But what if it isn’t? It’s my experience that the good and the bad, the enjoyable and the painful, all add up to just about zero. So what difference does it make how long it lasts?
Not that I want to die. When life nets zero, dying isn’t ideal. It’s neutral. Neither desirable nor worth avoiding. Am I depressed? Just cynical at the moment. I’M ABOUT TO BE SOBER AT A GOOD PARTY! This is why I need to be good to everyone, because Hell for me will be exactly this situation. (Coincidentally, the party’s theme is Heaven and Hell. I guess I’m the Hell side.)

Just kidding. It isn’t so bad. I’m not such an alcoholic. I just really want to drink.

At least the school year ends in only three weeks. (Three weeks guys!)

April 13, 2005

Protected: Another Haiku

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 12:27 am

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