On One Hand

June 22, 2005


Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 6:12 pm

From a conscious perspective, which is the only perspective I can have because a consciousness is what I am, the Universe only exists in the perception of a witness. This is how I must view the world in the context of human relationships, which can’t be measured or observed materially or empirically. When I meet a person, he or she is the witness that makes me real, and in that instant I am born in his or her mind. The me that he or she knows is different from the me that others know, and even different from the me I know myself. It’s a completely unique manifestation of reality.

If I am born when I begin a relationship with a person, I die when I am forgotten. If a person dislikes me or doesn’t respect me, my existence in that scenario is less than zero, and it would be better if it wasn’t there. That’s why it’s hard for me to deal with a broken relationship, being disliked by someone I once loved or being scorned by that person. For months I put so much love, time, and energy into one guy, and gave parts of myself that I can never give again to someone else. If I come to be disliked, I have more than died.

If a person misjudges me and I know that he or she is wrong, the fact that I know the truth about myself is irrelevant because the information that the person doesn’t have doesn’t exist in that particular manifestation of me, which in many cases comes to be very important. In a sense it is of great comfort to believe in a Supreme Being or Universal Consciousness, that knows me completely and fully and my existence in that Consciousness cannot die because it is Omnicient, and it cannot misjudge. I suppose that the denial of worth by that Being would be what hell is, the most complete rejection possible. This means that being hated by any finite person is a miniature hell, and that being hated by a loved one is a more important miniature hell, especially when I have come to identify myself more and more with the me that was manifested in the eyes of another.

That’s really what we’re in love with, in the end, anyway. Not with the other person but the manifestation of ourselves within the consciousness of the other and the manifestation of the other within our own consciousness, as well as the juxtaposition of the two of us together in the minds of third parties.



  1. That was a tremendously insightful post, sir.

    Comment by kishenehn — June 23, 2005 @ 12:28 am | Reply

  2. Its too bad you can’t get a part time job writing for a newspaper or something. You’re a good writer who should get paid for his efforts.

    Comment by tempur_tempur — June 23, 2005 @ 8:31 pm | Reply

  3. You’re a J and MC major right? Are you interested in news writing then, or do you want to be an essayist/novelist?

    Comment by matthewtroxel — June 24, 2005 @ 12:56 am | Reply

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