On One Hand

January 17, 2007

What’s in a name?

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 9:25 pm

I grew up with a more-than-common name. “Matthew” was one of the top-five most popular names to be given to boys in the United States every year from 1981 to 2006. In 1985, the year I was born – and every other year in that decade – the name was third most popular. Because of this, there were at least two of us Matthews in every classroom from my kindergarten class to sixth grade, so the compromise, to avoid confusion, was always that I would be Matthew, and all the other Matthews would be Matt.

I finally shortened “Matthew” when I was 14 and needed a name to call myself on the Internet, which was a new thing in those years. My parents said that when I go to chatrooms I shouldn’t use my real name, because Online predators might use it to find me, so I thought of an allias and went by “Matt” instead. After being “Matt” online for a while, I decided the name sounded sexy and masculine, and started using it all the time.

But regardless of what my first name has been, I go by another name much more often. It’s the name I used in this journal and what I go by in the wider world. It was elected by my peers, creeping in without me having a word to say about it.

My last name is “Pizzuti,” which I’ve been known primarily as for years now. It started in my elementary school library in first grade whenever I would go to check out a book. The Librarian, Mrs. Kurlin, a friendly older woman with curly light-brown hair, always had to say it twice.

“Pizzuti!” she would relish each vowel and consonant as she scanned the book and checked it to my name, then she would ask, “may I say that again?”

“Yes… you can,” I would tell her.

“Pizzuti!” she would say again triumphantly.

Not long after, everyone started calling me that. First it was the science teachers in middle school, thinking themselves clever, who came up with the “Mister Pizzuti” title, each one saying it smugly with a chuckle or grin as if no one ever thought of it before. Soon after, I became “Pizzuti” to all my friends as well.

“Is Pizzuti there?” they’d ask when calling the house and being received by my father.

“Which one?” my dad, also a Pizzuti, would ask.

“You know. Pizzuti.” they’d repeat, putting emphasis on the middle syllable so it was clear.

“Oh,” my dad would laugh and hand me the phone.

I have a sister, two years younger than me, who was blessed with a much less common first name, that everyone loves. During the year she was born, her name was a comfortable thirty-fifth among girls’ names given in the United States. Angela was always Angela, from her birth through high school. She avoided “Angie” or “Ange” or other bastardized nicknames – they weren’t necessary – until the she arrived as a freshman at the same high school I went to.

“Pizzuti’s sister” was my sister’s name after that.

My last name was always a title I couldn’t shake, along with the myriad words it rhymes with, none of them being any good. I’ve been “Fruity Pizzuti” and “hisbooty” and “bazookie,” and then there are the off-centered slant-rhymes of “Bazooka,” “Pittz,” “Pizzoot,” or my favorite, just “Zoot.” My friends from Boy Scouts said the word “Pizzuti” had the comfortable ring of “a rare cheese,” while others said it would be a marketable brand of salami: “Pizzuti salami.” I’ve also been “Pizza boy” on numerous occasions. One of the editors of my high school paper endearingly referred to me as “Pizoot Pizzuzuttes,” (Pronounced Pi-ZOOT Pi-ZOO-zoots), and I don’t think any name for me has ever topped that in complexity – or syllables.

I once asked my mom why I was “Matthew” and not “Tristan,” which is my middle name, which is much rarer and, I think, nicer sounding. During the year I was born, the name “Tristan” ranked two-hundred and twenty-second among names given to boys, at less than one Tristan in 1,000 births, meaning I would not only be a precious rarity in my classroom, but that there likely would be no other Tristans in my high school. To find someone sharing my name would be less common than someone sharing my birthday. If Tristan were my name, I would have avoided always having to include my last name on homework papers in elementary school, or avoid going by the dehumanizing “Matt P.” through most of my life. As a child I was embarrased by my middle name, thinking it was funny or sounded like a girls’ name, and I kept it secret. But since then, most people I have encountered say it sounds, quote, “sexy,” and when I got to college I formally decided to start going by Tristan. It never stuck. It didn’t feel like me; I felt like I was lying. So one day I asked my mom why I was Matthew instead.

“I didn’t like Tristan,” my mom explained from the living room couch while I stood in the room. “I liked Matthew, and Tristan sounded good with it. Matthew Tristan. And Matthew is in the Bible. If the choice was Tristan by itself we would have picked something different altogether – you know, we had to make a lot of tough choices when you were young that I regret – first we had you circumsized and –”

“Alright mom, it’s OK,” I interrupted, holding my hands in the air as if to say I give.

So I will be Pizzuti instead.

My great-grandfather’s name was “Nick M. Pizzuti,” and my grandfather’s is Nick Michael Pizzuti. My father’s name is Nick Michael Pizzuti as well, making him a Jr., and I can only thank my mother (and God) that I wasn’t named Nick Michael Pizzuti the third.

I’ve never met another Pizzuti who wasn’t related to me. They’re a scarcity in Colorado and in most of the country. But I’ve been told that there are a lot of Pizzutis in Ohio and Indiana, and there’s a real-estate developing company in Florida that uses Pizzuti as its name.

My mother’s maiden name is Moore, that’s M-O-O-R-E, so before she married my father she’d regularly encounter those who shared her name – probably half of the Irish population of the United States, I’m guessing. But now she’s got the same funny name as the rest of us. Her mother’s maiden name, on the other hand, is more Italian than anything else I know: Antonucci. Just the sound of it brings you back to the fields of Tuscany on a balmy, Mediterranean morning. The Antonucci’s I’m related to came over to the United States at the turn of the 20th century, and stopped in Denver, Colorado, because with its mountains and semi-arid climate, Denver “looked like home” in central Italy, my grandfather says.

I searched for my name on Google once, so I know there are plenty of other Pizzutis in the country. There is a Matthew Pizzuti who lives in Oregon and evidently works for the Oregon Convention Center, since all the articles that come up are related to that. A couple other Matthew Pizzutis are odd looking computer geeks who show up on Google’s images as overweight and eyes-bulging like owls behind thick glasses. On a trip to Ellis Island in New York City, my sister found an Italian immigrant whose name chiseled into the wall was her own name nearly exactly; Angelina Maria Pizzuti. There were a few other Pizzutis there on that wall as well.

I’m told that my Italian family was originally “Pizzutio,” but when they arrived at Ellis Island their names were shortened to “Pizzuti” to sound more “American.” The original pronounciation of Pizzuti, with the double zz, should have been “Pit-SOO-tee,” which you cannot say correctly without holding both hands up in front of you, clasping your fingers like you’re pinching spices, turning them upward and bouncing your voice like a Pizza chef. Then, as you say the middle syllable, you have to lurch your hands forward a half an inch. That’s how real italians talk.



  1. I must say I find this post very interesting — I couldn’t help but go back down Memory Lane into my own childhood as I read this. All the way through grade school and middle school, I was always the only Larry in my class, and even in my high school class of 229, there was only one other Larry.

    The exception in my life to going by Larry was with my eighth-grade teacher, a nun in a Catholic school. She had this thing with refusing to call anybody by any shortened forms of their name or any nicknames, always using the full-length name — I was always Lawrence to her. Had you had her, for example, you definitely would have been Matthew, just like the Tony in that class was Anthony, the Tim was Timothy, etc., etc..

    (As to why I go by Larry and not Lawrence, it’s just what my parents called me from my very early childhood on — they could just as easily have chosen to go with Lawrence.)

    I have had my last name, Harvilla (har-VILL-uh), butchered so many different ways by so many different people that I really don’t care anymore. If anybody screws it up, then expresses any doubt to me whether they’ve pronounced it correctly, I just say “close enough” and leave it at that. 😉 A lot of that comes from learning how to deal with a dumbass teacher I had in high school who insisted on saying “har-VEE-uh” even after I had corrected him a hundred times.

    Like you have done with Pizzutis, I have searched for other Harvillas before; I happen to know that there are at least three other Harvillas listed in the Detroit phone book, and to the best of my knowledge, they’re not even reasonably close relatives.

    OK, totally unrelated topic. I remember, back in September 2005, you made a post talking about Colorado football while they were playing their season opener against Colorado State. I commented on that post, telling you the story of Colorado’s “Miracle at Michigan” from 1994, in which the seventh-ranked Buffs scored a most improbable touchdown on the last play to beat the #4 Wolverines 27-26.

    Well, last night, I found a video of it on YouTube. The video actually starts right after a Michigan punt with 0:14 left, and shows the final three plays and then a whole bunch of after-commentary. I wanted to share the link with you:

    It turns out I had one of my facts wrong back then; the Michigan cornerback who tipped the ball was Ty Law (#22), not Charles Woodson as I had thought — Woodson wouldn’t come to Michigan until the next year. No matter, it’s a pretty amazing play.

    Comment by larrysphatpage — January 18, 2007 @ 8:56 am | Reply

  2. beautiful post – very well written

    and isn’t it typical of parents – you start talking about names and they start talking about that time they chopped part of your genitalia off…

    Comment by foucaultonacid — January 18, 2007 @ 12:30 pm | Reply

  3. Matthew

    Hey, Matt:
    Throughout my days in parochial school, I came across only one Matt (Simmons), who provided all the models for that name for me well into the 1980’s. At that time, I knew a chemical engineering student at Penn State, during my graduate years, who finally changed the image. My middle nephew is also Matt.
    As to another name, well, thanks to Matthew Wayne Shepard (or more precisely his infamous death), I finally realized that Choo Choo is another name for Matthew. I doubt if you’d ever want to be known as Choo Choo Pizzuti!
    Jean-Paul Satre’s masterpiece “Chemins à la Liberté” or “Roads to Freedom”, has a protagonist named Matthieu de la Rue! Even Thieu (as he is called) sounds like Choo Choo!

    Comment by Anonymous — January 20, 2007 @ 10:38 pm | Reply

    • Re: Matthew

      Well in the 1950s and 1960s the name “Matthew” was pretty rare, becoming common toward the 80s, which is when I was born. So it was then that you’d see a lot of Matts come on scene. And still, there won’t be many Matthews over age 30.

      Comment by ononehand — February 10, 2007 @ 7:49 pm | Reply

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