On One Hand

April 16, 2007

ill Release Party

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 12:40 am

The Illiterate release party was awesome – the magazine formally presented its most recent issue in an enormous local rock climbing gym converted into a party space with several performing bands, banners, a fashion show, giant video screens and a bar in the age 21+ drinking area. The place is big enough to have an upstairs cafeteria area as a balcony overlooking the downstairs gym, and the 30-foot “island” rock feature (with a flat platform on top) in the center of the gym was a good place to project the videos from and also separated the big area into nice compartments for separate events to be staged in designated spots.

I’m not sure how many people showed up, but I think there were over 1,000 tickets sold at the door. I was supposed to police the bus we hired to take guests from Pearl Street to the party, and later work the button maker (which I have no idea how to use and was unable to figure it out), but ended up doing bouncer-type work. We came across a major problem when we couldn’t get guests in and I.D. checked fast enough, so several hundred people were waiting outside, and I heard through the grapevine that some of my friends ended up waiting an hour and a half just to get in.

The models drank all our booze. I didn’t get body painted because I found out that it meant I was supposed to be in the fashion show, and I doubt you’ll find anyone to be more averse to the idea of being out on a runway than I am. I told one of the models it was “beneath my masculinity” to be on a catwalk. I think I offended her; I probably could have come up with a better articulation of why I don’t want to be on a stage where my painted naked body is the only thing people are expected to look at. But fuck it, the whole night I stood blocking people with beer from taking their drinks outside the designated area and I doubt I’d be very intimidating with zebra stripes painted on my chest while I’m wearing nothing but a thong. “Hey buddy, can we keep the alchol upstairs? And ooh, careful of the body paint; my thighs and underarms are still a little sticky.”

Most of the guests were nice. One guy who knew me seemed a little put-off by the fact that I didn’t make an exception for him to bring beer down to the main floor. It would have been pointless anyway; if I had let him get by with it, someone else on staff would have seen the beer and stepped in, or else one of the cops there might have seen alcohol where it wasn’t supposed to be and we could have been shut down. Meanwhile, I got very good feedback about my article in the magazine. People always new what article I was talking about when, if asked which piece was mine, I said “the one about the sorrorities.”

I got to the rock gym at 4 in the afternoon to help set up, and guests arrived at 9 and stayed until almost 2. I was at the gym until 4 in the morning cleaning up. I was standing for at least 11 hours of that time. My ankles fucking hurt.

Illiterate is a magazine, but a better definition for it is an interactive community where readers can participate in an artistic dialogue. We host open-microphone poetry readings every Wednesday (8 pm at Lulu’s – formely Album’s Bistro – on the Hill in Boulder) where all are welcome to perform. Musicians or performers of decent talent are welcome to contact us about performing at future big events. For those who are out of state but interested in participating, anyone can visit Illiterate’s website at illiteratemagazine.com and post articles, fiction, poetry, photos or artwork for public viewing. If you have anything you want to show off, put it on our web page and it could end up printed in our next issue. (We would contact you before printing it, of course). You can also view artwork other people have submitted, and vote on artwork if you sign up or log in. If you’re interested in getting something published but it’s far too offbeat, edgy, or out-of-context to be marketable anywhere else, we’re exactly the right publication. Even if you think your work sucks, you can post it under your name on Illiterate’s page and the piece you loathe might be exactly what we’re looking for.


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