On One Hand

April 30, 2008

To Ezra

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 1:15 pm

A letter to Ezra Pound,
the poet:

My father once questioned my use of the word “tool.” He wanted to know if it has anything to do with being used by someone else to accomplish a task, or if women could be tools, or if the point of the term is for the person being called a tool to not know what you mean by it. The definition we settled on was that it is someone of exaggerated self-importance, who holds himself to be more popular than he really is, elite in the face of mass-appeal or appealing when he is actually narcissistic. My big five, for example, is Nicolas Cage, Bill O’Reilly, Tyra Banks, Ryan Seacrest and Tom Cruise. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for crafting a fabulous identity that countless others would follow.

Dear Robert Frost,
the concept:

They put a statue of you on campus here. Guess what they portrayed you doing! No, seriously, guess. I wanted you to know that every time I pass your bronzed figure on a wint’ry morning, alone, I catch it out of the corner of my eye, and it freaks me out. I think there is an exceptionally quiet man sitting near me that I did not notice till we were just 5 feet apart. I also want you to know that this is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever written.

Ode to Walt Whitman,
the old man in the wilderness:

I want to wrap myself in the blanket of your beard and march into the woods.

I want to take my shoes off and slack-line across your poetry, barring split infinitives.

I want to wear shirts with big conspicuous holes like the kids at Naropa do, because god, they freaking love you there.

I want to write everything in anaphora because that’s what you would do, and because Ginsburg really knew what’s up when he wrote that poem. Yeah, that guy was pretty cool.



  1. i enjoyed this entry

    Comment by somenights — April 30, 2008 @ 8:56 pm | Reply

  2. I love the Walt Whitman ode. Are you being sarcastic like Ginsberg in the supermarket? I sense you are.

    Ginsberg was funny.

    Comment by timberwolves — May 1, 2008 @ 6:16 pm | Reply

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