On One Hand

February 9, 2009

You probably grew up Unitarian Universalist if…

Filed under: Uncategorized — ononehand @ 5:10 pm

I just got back from the weekend high school commuter conference in Ogden, Utah, which required an 11-hour community bus trip. Everyone sleeps on the floor, the whole event is youth-led (including the committee to resolve or punish rulebreaking) so all adult chaperones do is basically hang out and watch and take a night shift watching the co-ed sleeping room. We sleep on the floor in sleeping bags with youth from 13 other churches. Awesome time. My night duty was 2am to 4am during which I only had to break up three couples for making out a little too intensely. I slept about 6 hours total in the last 3 days, mostly taken in 15-minute increments. I slept far longer than most of the youth. I have a cold now.

You probably grew up Unitarian Universalist if

…when you hear that there are two kinds of “football,” you don’t think of American football vs. soccer, you think of athletic football vs. silent.

…you served on a 10-person youth committee to decide whether peanut butter should be witheld from a conference in honor of one person with extensive food allergies.

…you were taught the scientific formula for THC before you heard that its an illegal substance.

…your sense of the penultimate “unresolvable political issue” is not abortion, it’s whether youth who smoke should be allowed to bring cigarettes on events.

…your punishment for breaking the rules of an organization is that you have to serve as rules enforcer for the next 3 meetings.

…you’ve slept in a cuddle pile of 30 or more people.

…every time you see a phone book you start humming the tune to “smart yellow pages.”

…you know what it’s like to go 60 hours without sleeping and find the experience more euphoria-inducing than any kind of drug.

…your first sexual experience was in a church basement under a piano.


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